A Lesson in Dignity and End-of-Life Choices

My maternal grandfather taught me valuable lessons about aging with dignity.

He was the first to tell me that "pneumonia is an old man's friend"—a belief he held wholeheartedly. He was clear that he wanted no heroic measures at the end of his life. 

When he developed pneumonia and ended up in the emergency room struggling to breathe, a well-meaning but uninformed doctor put him on a breathing machine against his wishes. Though the intervention was brief, when my grandfather regained consciousness, he was furious about being "saved." He fell into depression and was prescribed an antidepressant that caused severe constipation—I remember him crying in misery on the toilet. 

He did recover and enjoyed acouple more relatively happy years, but he made certain that everyone understood his wishes going forward. When he developed a second bout of pneumonia, this time complicated by heart failure, his passing was quick and comfortable. Although I couldn't make it from Boston in time to say goodbye, it was his time to go—and importantly, on his own terms.